Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
