guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
