Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
