Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Randomize
