I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
