It's like God shit irony all over that family
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
