i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Randomize
