Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
