in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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