beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
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