True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
