So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
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