I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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