First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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