I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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