I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
operation have a gay friend backfired
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
