I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
