I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
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