I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
