Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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