I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
