Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
