Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
