when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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