Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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