Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
it was like eating out sand paper
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
My life is pants optional.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
