she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
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