like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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