he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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