There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
