I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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