"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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