I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
We are all done wearing pants today
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
