Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
just tell him i said nine months
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Randomize