After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
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