Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
