take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
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