Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Randomize