What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
