i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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