I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Randomize
