well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
