69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Randomize
