i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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