I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
