theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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