Rock
Scissors
Fuck
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
