If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Boobs are out for the taking
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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