i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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