There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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