physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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