I bet he comes in French.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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