Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Randomize