Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
