i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
