the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Randomize
