After last night, I could never be a politician.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I need to sanitize my soul.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
