i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
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