A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize