It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
