I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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