Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
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