.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I came so hard my ears popped.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
