seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
